INTRODUCTION:

001. Real name? - Captain Liverwurst
002. Nickname(s)? - The Livernator
003. Zodiac sign? - Broccoli
004. Male or female? - David Bowie
005. Elementary? - My dear Watson
006. Middle School? - I was born and raised on a steamboat touring the Mississippi, so I didn't go middle school
007. High School? - The School of HOW TO BE AWESOME (I passed as a valedictorian, specializing in Catapult Engineering For The Launching Of Large Animals)
008. Hair color? - Tuna-Flavored
009. Long or short? - Longer than short
010. Loud or Quiet? - ...And on the third day, Captain Liverwurst belted a mighty hollering, demanding a sandwich from the heavens. The Earth immediately cracked, and a perfectly spherical chunk fell off. Thus, the moon was formed.
011. Sweats or Jeans? - BILLIE JEAN IS NOT MY LOVER SHUT UP STOP TALKING ABOUT HER WAAAA
012. Phone or Camera? - Camera, to take photos of my self with, of course. Here's one of me: [link]
013. Health freak? - SHE'S A SUPER FREAK
014. Drink or Smoke? - Both, at the same time
015. Do you have a crush on someone? - I crush people every day beneath my massive inflated ego.
016. Eat or Drink? - You don't need to when you're this beautiful.
017. Piercings? - I got my lungs pierced. Not one of my brighter ideas.
018. Tattoos? - I have a tattoo of my face on the back of my head. I SEE EVERYTHING.


HAVE YOU EVER?

019. Been in an airplane? - I'm in one right now.
020. Been in a car accident? - I've caused one right now.
021. Been in a fist fight? - I've never NOT been in one. I was strangling a baby when I came out of my mother's womb.


FIRSTS:

022. First piercing? - I got my lung piercing about 5,000 years ago.
023. First best friend? - Jesus
025. First award? - The Jesus Award Of Excellence
026. First crush? - Jesus
028. First big vacation? - Jesusland in St.Jesusville


LASTS:

029. Last person you talked to? - John Lennon
030. Last person you texted? - George Harrison
031. Last person you watched a movie with? - Abe Lincoln
032. Last food you ate? - Grenades
033. Last movie you watched? - Beverly Hills Chihuahua. I CAN'T UNSEE IT
034. Last song you listened to? - OH GOD NO MORE CHIHUAHUAS NO MORE PLEEAASE
035. Last thing you bought? - A time machine
036. Last person you hugged? - The rotting corpse of Lewis Cass


FAVES:

037. Food? - Children
038. Drinks? - The blood of children
039. Clothing? - The skin of children
040. Book? - The Tome of Eternal Darkness?
041. Music? - Limozeen and Sloshy
042. Flower? - Sun and Rain
043. Colors? - Silver the Hedgehog
044. Movies? - Beverly Hills Chihua- OH WAIT CRAP RUN
045. Shoes? - Ones that light up when I walk
046. Subjects? - I ALREADY TOLD YOU IN #007


IN THE PAST YEAR I ... :

047. [ ] kissed in the snow
048. [X] celebrated Halloween (Actually, Halloween celebrates ME!)
049. [X] had your heart broken (I broke my own heart when I realized how utterly perfect I am)
050. [ ] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [ ] someone questioned your sexual orientation
052. [X] came out of the closet (Then I went back in again)
053. [X] gotten pregnant (IT COULD HAPPEN)
054. [X] had an abortion (THAT TOO)
055. [ ] done something you've regretted (I REGRET NOTHING!)
056. [ ] broke a promise
057. [ ] hid a secret (I have no secrets. Everything I'm saying in this meme thing is absolutely 100% true.)
058. [ ] pretended to be happy
059. [X] met someone who changed your life (You've got it wrong again. I'M the one who changes lives!)
060. [ ] pretended to be sick (I've never been sick. Schrute genes are perfect.)
061. [X] left the country (I am always simultaneously in and out of the country)
062. [ ] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [ ] cried over the silliest thing (Captain Liverwurst doesn't cry)
064. [X] ran a mile (I do that every second)
065. [ ] went to the beach with your best friend
066. [ ] stayed single the whole year (Do you think the ladies can avoid me? Look at another beautiful photograph: [link]

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating? - Babies
068. Drinking? - Babies
069. I'm about to? - Babies (I'll leave that to your imagination)
070. Listening to? - Babies (screams of pain and terror as I devour them viciously)
071. Plans for today/tomorrow? - More babies
072. Waiting for? - Babies

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? - I already have kids to feed on
074. Want to get married? - Who needs marriage when you look as attractive as me: [link]
075. Careers in mind? - MALE MODELING

WHICH IS BETTER ON A BOY/GIRL?
076. Lips or eyes? - Spleen
077. Shorter or taller? - ATTACK OF THE 50-FOOT WOMAN [link]
078. Romantic or spontaneous? - SPONTANEOUS HUMAN COMBUSTION
079. Nice stomach or nice arms? - Disembodied stomach mmm'kay
080. Sensitive or loud? - OVER 9,000 DECIBELS
081. Hookup or relationship? - Your face should be hooked up to a refrigerator
082. Troublemaker or hesitant? - PREPARE FOR TROUBLE AND MAKE IT DOUBLE

HAVE YOU EVER:

083. Lost glasses/contacts? - Yes
084. Ran away from home? - Yes
085. Held a gun/knife for self defense? - Yes, but not for self defense
086. Killed somebody? - Yes
087. Broken someone's heart? - With a brick
088. Been arrested? - YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME
089. Cried when someone died? - I NEVER CRY I ALREADY TOLD YOU I THINK GEEZ THIS MEME IS TAKING FOREVER GAWRSH GOLLY GEE WHIZ

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

090. Yourself? - Yes
091. Miracles? - I AM LIVING PROOF OF MIRACLES
092. Love at first sight? - Everyone falls in love with ME at first sight, don't they?
093. Heaven? - That's mah 'hood
094. Santa Claus? - I AM SANTA CLAUS
095. Sex on the first date? -
096. Kiss on the first date? - ANSWER BELOW:




ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? - DR. RRROBOTNIK
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? - I THINK I'LL GIVE MYSELF A PRRROMOTION
099. Do you believe in God? - Yes I believe in myself
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people. - THAT IS NOT A QUESTION TO BE ANSWERED THERE WILL BE NO TAGS BECAUSE OF IT